C to the O to the M-M-izzle,
Carving you up with my grammatical chisel,
Sitting on the bottom of the line...
I make you pause for quite some time.
Clauses in a sentence I can separate,
I'm small so if you miss me you can add me in late,
I can separate the items of a list...
Bow to the might of my grammatical fist.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
The Ballad of Substandard Comebacks
"Lol, you fell over," one man said,
While walking with his chum,
"Such epic fail, you banged your head,
And fell flat on your bum."
His friend retorted, "So's your face,
And for that matter, so's your mum,
You think that she is wholly ace,
But really she is scum."
"What?" said the first guy,
"What was that? What noises from your lips protrude?
You'd best shut up about my mum,
Or through a straw you'll drink your food."
"When I tripped in stanza one,"
Said chap two, mumbling his retort,
"I smashed my teeth so thoroughly,
That threats like that mean naught.
And so I shall continue to insult your dear old mum,
For I have so little actual brain,
(and since I'm not entirely sane),
That things like that are quite the best,
That up with I can come."
While walking with his chum,
"Such epic fail, you banged your head,
And fell flat on your bum."
His friend retorted, "So's your face,
And for that matter, so's your mum,
You think that she is wholly ace,
But really she is scum."
"What?" said the first guy,
"What was that? What noises from your lips protrude?
You'd best shut up about my mum,
Or through a straw you'll drink your food."
"When I tripped in stanza one,"
Said chap two, mumbling his retort,
"I smashed my teeth so thoroughly,
That threats like that mean naught.
And so I shall continue to insult your dear old mum,
For I have so little actual brain,
(and since I'm not entirely sane),
That things like that are quite the best,
That up with I can come."
Saturday, March 15, 2008
On a Yawn
The little burst of oxygen,
You send into my brain,
Revives me for a second,
Before I feel tired again.
You send into my brain,
Revives me for a second,
Before I feel tired again.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
In Which our Hero Muses on the Coming of Spring
I can feel the spring already, said Comma.
I can taste it.
Even if I didn't have a calendar, I would still know it was coming.
I will appreciate the spring this year.
I will drink the colours.
It's going to look like this:
I can taste it.
Even if I didn't have a calendar, I would still know it was coming.
I will appreciate the spring this year.
I will drink the colours.
It's going to look like this:
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Ode to a Rainbow Bracelet
Five and twenty beads you have,
I counted every one,
Each one will glisten silently,
Until its work is done.
Your colours shine so loud and free,
Diff'rent from every angle,
I wear you proud upon my wrist,
With spark and glee and spangle.
I bought you whence for fifty pence,
From the Help the Aged shop,
You were so undervalued then,
But on my list you're top.
I counted every one,
Each one will glisten silently,
Until its work is done.
Your colours shine so loud and free,
Diff'rent from every angle,
I wear you proud upon my wrist,
With spark and glee and spangle.
I bought you whence for fifty pence,
From the Help the Aged shop,
You were so undervalued then,
But on my list you're top.
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